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My new friend David looks like Robin Williams. Especially when he smiles. He even has the greatsense of humour. He fed me cake. I took a picture of him. Its on my phone. I cannot get it off my phone. I donot lie, he really looks like Robin Williams. 

  • Veronika:

    *sees cute guy who lives across the hall*

  • Veronika:

    Ahhhhh! Mother Fucker! (she might have stubbed her toe now, or later on and just screamed this for no reason except the cute guy across the hall

  • Veronika:

    Hi Jomah I think your really attractive!

  • Veronika:

    *runs away*


Purchase pillow case here:

God cares so much about you today. Not only does He love and care about you, He cares about the things that you care about as well. If you have concerns, worry or anxiety about something in your life today; finances, relationships, your job or anything else, know that your heavenly Father already has a plan to take care of those things for you. It’s a good plan, and He wants to show Himself strong on your behalf.

The scripture reminds us that the lilies of the field and the birds of the air are cared for, how much more will your heavenly Father take care of you? Today, cast all of your anxiety on Him by choosing to trust that He is going to take care of you. Refuse to dwell on your problems and don’t allow them to steal your peace and joy any longer. Instead, choose to meditate on His Word and confess God’s promises over your life. Cast your cares on Him and experience His peace, joy and blessing all the days of your life!




Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.








…perfect bby.

OKAY I have to drop some newly acquired knowledge, and maybe a lot of people already know this BUT LISTEN

Hippos are, like…real, living land whales. It’s been genetically proven that their closest relatives are NOT pigs as was once believed, but whales! Hippos even make whistles and clicks underwater to communicate as well as help them “see” in murky waters. 

They also have some incredibly thick skin that is extremely difficult to cut, and when they do get injured their skin secretes a special fluid that acts like a natural antibiotic ointment that prevents infections and speeds up the healing process. And this fluid turns blood red when it meets the air, so it looks pretty badass, too.

Also, the bones in their limbs are SOLID. There is no marrow, no hollow space, they are 100% BONE, MOTHERFUCKER. It helps weigh them down in the water so they can more easily submerge, and it helps support their weight on land. These bones can withstand the impact of a running hippo, and they aren’t slow, either!

Hippos are also responsible for more human deaths annually than crocodiles or other predators like lions and so on. Because they don’t take no shit, bro. 


*whispers* the number one cause of baby hippo deaths is adult male hippos

That’s because somewhere between that adorable squishy above and adulthood, they become one of the most aggressive animals on earth.


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